will not agree. Nuclear weapons are intended to destroy mainly the enemy's industrial and military potential.
You are confusing western with Russian strategy and tactics.
For the US this is an economic war, which is why it is against Russia and China instead of against real ideological enemies like Saudi Arabia and the UAE and Kuwaite etc.
This is why the focus has often been on a pre-emptive nuclear strike that will destroy the enemy's nuclear potential.
Attacking an enemies nuclear weapons only works if you strike first, which is US policy because they think if they hit enough Soviet or Russian nukes the Soviets or Russians might surrender or not have enough nukes to do the west damage they couldn't get over... obviously an ABM system is part of that... the first generation ABM system would struggle with a couple of threats, but as they improve it and fix the bugs if you look at the third improvement they are talking about interceptors with multiple warheads to intercept more than one incoming target at a time... the idea is that you destroy as many of their subs and bombers and Silos and truck mounted missiles as you can and then hope you have enough interceptors and ABM missiles (including ones on ships) to shoot down anything they do manage to fire.
It is obviously all bullshit and makes no sense at all if Russia has already launched their attack because the subs and silos and aircraft will be empty and missiles and warheads on the way.
The introduction of Poseidon and Thunderbird and with new ICBM and SLBM warheads that evade interception it is not going to work in my opinion.
But the Soviet plans were to hit Cheyanne mountain and their Silos and probably their airbases... but eventually they went from SS-18s carrying single 20 megaton warheads for that sort of job, to carrying 10 plus much smaller warheads to level cities.
If you only focus on hitting military targets in a nuclear war what happens 5 years down the track when 300 million americans want another go at you?
Not to mention the 600 odd million europeans who can walk to where you are...
If America thinks it can survive it will think it can win which means a first strike is their best chance of surviving... if they know the missiles are going to get through and their entire country will be irradiated and population killed then it sounds more like something they will want to actually avoid.
Hell, just mention in the first few hours the number of explosions in the upper atmosphere is going to screw up 99% of the satellites so no internet and no satellites for 150 years I think a lot of young people would stop protesting that Kiev should get more weapons and ammo and money and start anti war protests...
That's why the US was messing with the NMD systems in Poland, etc. to place the IRBM near Moscow.
They want a decapitation strike, which means destroying Moscow... whether using IRBMs or MRBM the ABM system around Moscow would probably stop them, but even if they didn't the Russians would automatically launch anyway.
ABM systems in Poland were supposed to improve tracking of missile launches so other ABM systems would be better prepared closer to the US like AEGIS cruisers in the pacific or atlantic ocean, of the ABM missiles in Alaska.
That was just an invitation to nuke Poland first.
Nuclear weapons are to destroy missile bases, industry, refineries, military potential, railway junctions,
Those targets only matter in long wars... in a nuke war if you take out a large percentage of the human population then the rest are focused mainly on survival and rebuilding and they stop fighting if they can... as long as you don't then try to invade they will likely focus on survival... which will start by mostly killing each other for resources...